You have been told your baby is deaf … now what?

Thinking about your child’s future

We trust you have been told how much can be done with good technology and educational support and how much you are central to these activities. Whilst you may find yourself questioning all your expectations for your baby, early identification does give you time to seek information, learn how to help your child and later, to celebrate and nurture your baby’s achievements.

Becoming a parent

However, we appreciate that right now it may seem difficult, almost impossible, to think of your baby’s communication and language needs and your role in helping him. All new babies demand so much time and energy in the early months. If this is your first child, please remember that becoming a parent for the first time is a steep learning curve without these additional challenges, and experienced parents have the needs of their other children’s top consider at the same time.

Recognising your emotions

No doubt, like many parents who learn that their child is deaf, you are also trying to manage periods of shock, disbelief, guilt and even anger. There may be times of sorrow and grieving as you question the loss of one cherished idea after another. This mix of emotions and tears may take you by surprise.

Understanding your feelings of loss

Thinking in terms of ‘loss of the cherished ideas’ may help you to identify and work through your feelings and challenges.: What is it that you think either you or your child has lost? Does this really need to be lost?  It can be anything from ‘Will he hear my voice?’ to ‘Will she be safe riding a bike?’

Recognising a new ‘loss’ can hit you at unexpected moments, just when you think you are coping and on top of things. This is very typical and most parents will experience this at some point as their child grows up. Allow yourself the time and space you need to experience and deal with these emotions.

Learning how to help your child

Rest assured that you will move on to more positive feelings as you help your son or daughter. Your feelings of self-doubt and lack of confidence will be replaced to a great extent by a need to learn all you can. You will find satisfaction in every gain your child makes.

Remember: your goal is to help your baby grow and develop as other children do. You will learn how to guide your baby through the process of developing the ability to communicate.

A few words of reassurance

Acknowledging this is a difficult time is important. But there are a few things we would like to reassure you about, based on our many years of experience working with families of children with all degrees of deafness.

You have time on your side!

It may not be easy to accept, but truly your child is fortunate that his or her deafness was discovered so soon after birth. There is so much you can do right now, and in the coming months ahead to get your baby off to a good start. Having your baby’s deafness identified at a very early stage gives you the time to begin to learn and absorb information so you are well prepared to help your baby as he or she reaches new stages of development.

Deaf children can and do learn to listen and talk

Every child is different. They learn at different speeds and they have different abilities and challenges and it is important that we are realistic about this. But with the right hearing aids or cochlear implants – and with good support – deaf children can and do learn to listen and talk. Together we can help them reach their potential!

Advances in hearing technology transform lives

Modern hearing aids, cochlear implants and additional supporting technologies have transformed the worlds of people who are deaf. And in doing so, education services and society as a whole has learnt a great deal about supporting these individuals. The world can be a very positive place for them.

Expectations do not need to be different!

Expectations for deaf children do not have to be any different to the ones we have for our hearing children. This may well not be the journey you had anticipated for your baby and you will certainly have to adjust the paths you take, but your child can still fulfil his or her dreams and goals whatever they turn out to be. What is needed now is time, patience and input.

You are not on your own

Learning that your child is deaf and working out what to do next can feel very lonely. But please be assured that there is a community of fellow parents who know what you are going through who would like to help and professionals such as us who can guide you. Over time you will put a team of professionals around your baby who will support you in the choices that you make.

The initial time after you are told your child is deaf is a time of turmoil. But by seeking information and help you have begun the process of supporting your baby. Many parents feel slightly less frightened when they have some goals to work towards and advice on how to achieve them. That is what we will do through our programme, and what other professionals around you will also do.